he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
