He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
