Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just threw up on my dentist
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
