I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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