I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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