it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
