she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
