I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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