At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
