Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Sorry about my life...
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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