Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
