I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
