well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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