why didn't you poke me back
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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