This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
