im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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