dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
