This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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