Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
