weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
