you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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