But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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