well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
