Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
