i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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