i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Randomize
