I think im going to throw up on grandma
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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