They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
