You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
A+ Viking dick
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
