you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
