Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
