Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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