i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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