she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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