Having a random hookup so left but love u
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm way too hungover for life right now
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
