is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Randomize
