I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
