You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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