So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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