Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
