let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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