First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize