your room smells of hookers.
And success
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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