i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
