I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
