I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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