those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
