Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
