Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
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