It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I just had sex on a roof
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
