I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
