I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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