Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
