Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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