girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
