i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
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