"it" just moved
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
