dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
