Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
