How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize