i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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